Choosing Your Wedding Guests
How do you know who to ask to join you for your big day? Trying to juggle between your family, your partner’s family, your friends, your partners friends etc. can make the decision of who to invite just that much harder….
Some people have big families, some people have small ones. Some people have lots of friends, some people have an intimate amount. And that’s all ok! The beauty about this being YOUR wedding is that YOU BOTH can choose who attends. Not your mom, not your partners sister or your best friend, but YOU BOTH!
Whether you were after a small wedding, or a large wedding - making sure the right people are there to help you celebrate a day thats all about your love story is so incredibly important - and I cannot stress that enough. You want to create a fun, safe space for you to enjoy yourself and not have to worry about them doing something a little stupid…
You should not be afraid to say to someone '“I will only invite you if you behave” as you don’t want to look back on your wedding day and have regrets or a damaged relationship with someone. Rather just be up front with them as this will create mutual respect between you for everything in the future. You have every right to be making sure that everything runs smoothly and if they aren’t able to make your big day as special as you need it to be, then don’t bother with inviting them.
Another thing to think about - are you sure they are someone that is still important in both your lives AND who will continue to be there going forward into the future? See the little diagram I have drafted to help you navigate through each individual and whether you should invite them!
What about young children? This has been an age old question asked so many times by so many couples and honestly its completely up to you as a couple to decide.
Some people might be getting married who already have young children and want them to be involved - completely fine but I would recommend they have someone and somewhere to go afterwards as it’s the parents big day so they also deserve a night off!
If they were involved with the wedding (ring bearer’s OR flower girls) then it’s completely up to the parents to be looking after them and towards the reception time, if the parents would also like a night off then they need to organise a babysitter for afterwards! Highly recommend this as it just helps the night go more comfortably for everyone.
If its just parents who would like to bring their children along to the wedding then thats a decision you need to let them know - would you be happy to have kids running around or crying (and yes i do know some children can be angles but are you willing to risk that?) while your ceremony or reception is happening? If yes then go for it otherwise tell them that it’s their turn for a night off and you would like no children at your wedding! Tell them to leave the children behind for a night and let loose - they deserve it!
The last thing to add, is do you invite partners/spouses/boyfriends/girlfriends etc. Again this is completely up to you and whether you think that person will be around in your lives going forward! Some questions to ask are:
Are you close or becoming close with them?
Are they someone who you think will be around for a long time?
Do they contribute to your relationship in any way - i.e. are they trying to be friendly towards you and making the effort to be in your life?
Is the person who wants to bring them needing to have a companion - i.e. will they know other people to hang out with?
These are all important questions to ask yourselves as they are the people who will be in your photos, videos and memories forever. So just saying, make sure you take your feelings and emotions into account AND be rational about it!